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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24027937">"What just happened?"</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jperalta/pseuds/jperalta'>jperalta</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Prodigal Son (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canonical Character Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Vomiting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:34:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,145</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24027937</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jperalta/pseuds/jperalta</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>*Spoilers for season finale*</p><p>Takes place directly after the final scene of the season finale.</p><p>What just happened, and what happens next?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>"What just happened?"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“What just happened?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Malcolm hardly noticed the phone fall out of his hand. He was looking at Ainsley, trying to catch her eyes, but they were evading his own. His hands were shaking, they were always shaking, but now Ainsley’s were shaking too. In fact her whole body was trembling. Malcolm tried to focus all of his attention on her, but the blood on her face and hands seemed to glow in the yellow light. He kept wincing and turning away, but when he did he’d only see Endicott lying on the floor, becoming more and more cold with every second they spent standing over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ainsley…” Malcolm began, his breath hitching, his mouth incredibly dry. He didn’t realize how quickly his heart was beating until he tried to take a step towards her. But as soon as he moved, Ainsley flew out of the room and into the bathroom nearby. Before Malcolm could even think about following her, he heard the click of the lock, and it sent another wave of panic through his brain. He felt his breath quickening, and knew what was coming. But he had to control it. Had to help out Ainsley. He told his feet to move and soon he found himself leaning against the other side of the door that Ainsley was behind. “Ains, it’s… it’s going to be okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leave me alone, Malcolm!” She yelled through the door, sounding hysterical. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had a right to feel upset - she had every right. And he wished he could help her, could console her in some way, but he couldn’t ignore the pounding in his own head, the twisting sensation in his stomach. He leaned into the door more, until soon it was the only thing holding him up.Yet still he was slipping, losing his grip on things again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started seeing his father’s face in his head, his father’s face mixed with Endicott’s bleeding body, so he winced and tried to force deep bursts of air into his chest but none of it did any good. The panic was making itself at home, as it always did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ains,” he stuttered out, “shit.” Then he collapsed onto the ground, and as he did he heard Ainsley vomit on the other side. It was all too much. The sickness in his own stomach was growing stronger and stronger. He felt like he was going to burst at any moment, and he was horrified - so horrified at everything that had just happened, and he had no idea how they were supposed to move forward from this moment. They were all so broken - him, his mother, Ainsley - and the more they tried to escape it the more it hounded them. The presence of his father in their lives, it would surround them always.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was hyperventilating now, gave up on trying to slow his breathing. He was shaking more with every second and his chest hurt more than he could fathom. Even though he knew what was happening, it never seemed to scare the shit out of him. He could hear Ainsley crying on the other side of the door, and it just fueled his own despair even more. For every ragged breath she took, he took two himself, almost like they were in sync. The edges of his vision continued to fade, and he wondered if he could die from this, because it always felt like he was going to. He gripped his chest, focused on the quickness of his heart despite knowing that would only make it worse. The sobs came out faster and heavier and he felt so unbelievably lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard the front door open, and in a few seconds Dani was crouching beside him. She pulled out her phone and made a call that Malcolm couldn’t entirely comprehend, his mind was spinning too quickly. She reached out to touch him, but he flinched away, as he always did whenever he was panicking. And as soon as he did, he felt horrible about it. It charged his fear, his self-loathing, the thought that he really shouldn’t be allowed to co-exist in the same world as other people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Malcolm, can you hear me?” He looked towards Dani, blinked a few times as if that would help anything. “Don’t fade out on me, come on.” She placed her arm against the door frame, and after thinking for a second, he leaned into it. Then he leaned his whole body into her. “Just breathe. Slow it down, you can do it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He clutched at the back of her shirt and balled up the fabric in his fists, and he desperately tried to listen to her. He closed his eyes, felt the warmth of her body against his, and clung to it with all his might. He was just starting to feel the oxygen in his lungs again as Dani half-guided half-carried him over to a couch. He caught a glimpse of Endicott’s body as she did, and again he had to wince and look away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani sat him down and said she was going to get him some water. In the seconds she was gone, he felt the panic spike again. But she returned with the water and after he drank it, his breathing finally started to steady. Dani grabbed his free hand and squeezed it tightly. He squeezed hers back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gave a small smile at him. “Are you better? Can you breathe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Malcolm nodded his head. “Yeah,” his mouth was still dry and he cleared his throat. “Yeah, I think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” she said, sitting next to him. “Because we have to talk about what the fuck happened. I made a call and people will be here any second.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I’m surprised you’re here at all. With Gil…” The thought of Gil in the hospital made him queasy again, and he clutched his stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, uh, just came to check up on you.” She glanced towards the body and the massive pool of blood surrounding it. “Did you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought of taking credit for it, not like that would help anything. Then he thought of Ainsley, still locked away in the bathroom. He shook his head. “Ainsley,” he let out with a whisper. “I’m not sure she was entirely conscious when she did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani looked at him, seeming confused, but said nothing more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s in that bathroom,” Malcolm said, gesturing towards the door weakly. “I heard her get sick and… and crying, but I… I couldn’t…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She needs help..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani’s eyes wandered over to the door again. “Mal…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please. I... I'll be okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani squeezed his hand again and rubbed a thumb over his palm as she stood up. “Okay, just keep breathing, please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, and when Dani disappeared around the corner he grabbed a pillow, put it over his face, and started to cry again.</span>
</p>
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